A Different Way to Hold Your Goals
Yikes. It's Monday and you're facing another week of relentless scheduling. Projects, goals, deadlines, appointments, plus an array of things you need to do to stay on top of your personal life.
It's enough to make a go-getting gal declare, "Calgon...take me away!!!"
But that's the whole dilemma. It's a great idea, but the last thing you have time or mental space for is a relaxing bath with some candles and aromatherapy (if any of you weren't around for the Calgon commercials decades ago, they were the 70's version of acknowledging that busy women would love a little spa time).
So no stress- I'm not going to tell you to relax and take a nice bath or sit on a yoga mat when you're not in that head-space. Nope nope. It's a busy week and you're a smart chica- if you could see a way to get some true "down time" in, it would already be on your schedule.
I'm also not going to tell you to take things off your schedule. If it was obvious to you, you would have already done it.
What I am going to show you, though, is how to take a relaxing bubble bath without having to fill the tub, take time out of your busy schedule or even leave your desk...
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You first need to know about hard edges
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If you've been feeling drained by your busy schedule, you've probably been slamming yourself up against your schedule's hard edges.
A hard edge is anything that creates definition. It's much easier to follow-through with a project if you have the hard edge of a specific goal identified. It's much easier to motivate toward that goal when you've given yourself the hard edge of a deadline. Hard edges play an important role in your business' forward movement.
However, your hard edges can turn from helpful to hurtful if you're slamming yourself up against them. The goal that was providing definition for your project can morph into a painful expectation that you harangue yourself for not achieving. Ouch. The deadline that was helping you to motivate forward can become your torture chamber of feeling behind. Ouch again. And draining too.
Hard edges can also be detrimental when they are the only kind of focus you have. When you focus on hard edges only, you can become hard yourself.
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Next you need to know about softness
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The truth is, there are two kinds of wisdom needed here, and you must use both at the same time.
The wisdom of the hard edge is all about action, motivation and follow-through. The hard edge helps you get things done.
Then there's the wisdom of softness. If you picture yourself in your normal "business mode", it's probably not so soft. Your brow is furrowed, you're hard-focused on a specific task and you're pushing yourself to "get there".
The perspective of softness brings an additional, much needed energy to your business day. Imagine if you kept the practical hard edges, but you negotiated through them with the feel of a cashmere blanket. Much nicer, eh?
Without the wisdom of hard edges, your projects are muddy and your forward movement is unfocused. Without the wisdom of softness, you feel harsh and tight and you can end up slamming yourself against your hard edges.
Unfortunately, most of us learn to use hard edges but never learn the skill of softness. Here's how to incorporate both into your business day...
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Now for that bubble bath!
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1) Identify the hard edges that are helping you define your business day: goals, deadlines, appointment times and any specific periods of time that you know you'll be hard-focused on getting something done. Don't worry about whether these are "right"- they're the best you know in the moment. Acknowledge these as helpful hard edges providing structure, definition and motivation.
2) Now find your own unique anchor for the feeling of softness. You might imagine yourself wrapped in a cashmere blanket...or feeling the way you feel after a massage...or immersed in that bubble bath that we keep talking about. Experiment with walking around in that feeling of softness as you navigate your busy day. Bring in the feeling whenever you remember to.
3) Notice what it's like to bring in the feeling of softness. You don't have to do this perfectly. Just play and explore. When you bring softness in, how does it change your perception/experience of your day? What do you know to be important? What might be better to let fall away? How does it affect your interaction with the helpful hard edges? What's it like to walk around in general with some softness in the mix?
Softness brings a particular flavor of wisdom that can guide you differently than when you are focused only on the guidance of hard edges. Experiment with getting to know the particular flavor of wisdom that softness brings. This is just one of many ways to bring more nourishment and inner guidance into your busy, busy week without having to create "down time" that you don't feel you have!