The Beauty of your Inner Control Freak
Have you ever been accused of being a control freak?
So many of us go-getting women hear it from others and from our selves: "You're perfectionistic, you're stuck on detail, you're not good at asking for help from others," and the list goes on. You've got to let go of control!"
You like the idea of letting go of control, but you've tried and let's face it...it doesn't come easily.
So why is it so hard to let go of control?
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Steering wheels & sweat
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Your business is made of your heart and soul. It's taken blood, sweat and tears to get it going. You've got your hands on the steering wheel, and by God, this thing is still driving! Then someone says, "you've got to let go of control". It's like cold water on your face. "But I'm driving!"
When it comes down to it, letting go of control feels, well, OUT of control. And it makes sense. There's too much at stake in your business to be taking your hands off the wheel. In fact, it's better that you don't. This "control" thing happens to be an excellent quality of yours. It just needs its twin sister along for the ride too...
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Control & Control's Twin Sister
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Control gets a bad rap as something you've got to fix about yourself. But think about it: if you're driving a car, without control you crash into a tree. Control is actually a good thing. Your natural tendency to control is a crucial skill when it comes to steering, following through and getting things done in your business.
So you go girl with the control!
Now, add one more element to the equation: Control's twin sister- Release. Too much of a good thing is never a good thing. This is true for control. Too much control and your hands are bleeding on the steering wheel...
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Three little words make all the difference
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Try the following experiment for exercising control while at the same time exercising release. This allows you to both steer the "car" while making room for more than just your tiny hands to create the outcome:
1) Think of a project you'd like to get some forward motion with this week. Get a clear picture of your end outcome: For example, "I'd like to meet a new referral source by the end of the week."
2) Control: Identify the actions you can take to make it happen and map out how you'd like to follow through.
3) Release: Now add three little words: "or even better". For example, "I'd like to meet a new referral source by the end of this week, or even better."
4) Notice the difference: In Step 2, it's about what you want and how you're going to get there. Excellent! Then in Step 3, the "or even better" opens the possibilities. It's like shifting the view from tunnel vision to wide angle. You're still going to follow through with your to-do actions (control), AND you're letting go of them at the same time simply by making space for "even better" to come on in (release).
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Less effort, more ease
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Deliciously, there's nothing for you to do for the wide angle view because "even better" is beyond what you can imagine or try to make happen on your own. Kind of a relief, eh? You just go about your to-do's (control) while at the same time leaving lots of room (release) for "even better" to take some of the to-do's off your plate or create an outcome more fabulous than you had initially imagined.
At the same time, if nothing particularly "even better" happens, that's okay- you'll have stayed true to the forward motion of your business by continuing to go about your to-do's and having kept your hands gently on the steering wheel for the duration of the ride.
I'd love to hear about your experiences with control and your experiences with "even better." Do share!